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 ====== The Cynic by Pseudo-Lucian ======
+<html><p xmlns:dct="http://purl.org/dc/terms/"><a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/mark/1.0/"><img src="http://i.creativecommons.org/p/mark/1.0/88x31.png" style="border-style: none;" alt="Public Domain Mark" /></a><br />This work (by <a href="https://lucianofsamosata.info/wiki" rel="dct:creator">https://lucianofsamosata.info/wiki</a>), identified by <a href="http://meninpublishing.org" rel="dct:publisher"><span property="dct:title">Frank Redmond</span></a>, is free of known copyright restrictions.</p></html>
+==== Authored by Frank Redmond, 2012; Original from Fowler. ====
 ===== Modernized Version =====
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 \\
-Lycinus. A Cynic
+//Lycinus. A Cynic//
-Ly. Give an account of yourself, you cynic. You wear a beard and let your hair grow long. You deliberately avoid wearing shirts. You showcase your skin. Your feet are bare. You choose a wandering, outcast, beastly life. Unlike other people, you make your own body the object of your strict adherance to principle. You go from place to place sleeping on the hard ground where chance finds you, with the result that your old cloak, neither light nor soft nor bright to begin with, has a crusty layer of filth carried on it. What of it all?
+//Ly.// Give an account of yourself, you cynic. You wear a beard and let your hair grow long. You deliberately avoid wearing shirts. You showcase your skin. Your feet are bare. You choose a wandering, outcast, beastly life. Unlike other people, you make your own body the object of your strict adherance to principle. You go from place to place sleeping on the hard ground where chance finds you, with the result that your old cloak, neither light nor soft nor bright to begin with, has a crusty layer of filth carried on it. What of it all?
-Cy. It meets my needs. It was easy to come by, and it gives its owner no trouble. It is the right cloak for me. Please tell me, do you not call extravagance a vice?
+//Cy.// It meets my needs. It was easy to come by, and it gives its owner no trouble. It is the right cloak for me. Please tell me, do you not call extravagance a vice?
-Ly. Oh, yes.
+//Ly.// Oh, yes.
-Cy. And economy an excellence?
+//Cy.// And economy an excellence?
-Ly. Yes, again.
+//Ly.// Yes, again.
-Cy. Then, if you find me living economically, and others extravagantly, why blame me instead of them?
+//Cy.// Then, if you find me living economically, and others extravagantly, why blame me instead of them?
-Ly. I do not call your life more economical than other people's - I call it more destitute. It's all destitution and want, that is what it is. You are no better than the poor who beg for their daily bread.
+//Ly.// I do not call your life more economical than other people's - I call it more destitute. It's all destitution and want, that is what it is. You are no better than the poor who beg for their daily bread.
-Cy. That brings us to the questions, "What is want?", and "What is sufficiency?". Should we try to find the answers?
+//Cy.// That brings us to the questions, "What is want?", and "What is sufficiency?". Should we try to find the answers?
-Ly. If you want, yes.
+//Ly.// If you want, yes.
-Cy. A man is self-sufficient when he meets his necessities. Will that do?
+//Cy.// A man is self-sufficient when he meets his necessities. Will that do?
-Ly. I pass that.
+//Ly.// I pass that.
-Cy. And desire occurs when the provision falls short of necessity, does not satisfy the need?
+//Cy.// And desire occurs when the provision falls short of necessity, does not satisfy the need?
-Ly. Yes.
+//Ly.// Yes.
-Cy. Very well, then, I do not desire. Nothing of mine fails to satisfy my need.
+//Cy.// Very well, then, I do not desire. Nothing of mine fails to satisfy my need.
-Ly. How are you able to do that?
+//Ly.// How are you able to do that?
-Cy. Well, consider the purpose of anything we need. The purpose of a house is protection?
+//Cy.// Well, consider the purpose of anything we need. The purpose of a house is protection?
-Ly. Yes.
+//Ly.// Yes.
-Cy. Clothing - what is that for? protection too, I think.
+//Cy.// Clothing - what is that for? protection too, I think.
-Ly. Yes.
+//Ly.// Yes.
-Cy. But now, please tell me, what is the purpose of the protection, in turn? the better condition of the protected, I presume.
+//Cy.// But now, please tell me, what is the purpose of the protection, in turn? the better condition of the protected, I presume.
-Ly. I agree.
+//Ly.// I agree.
-Cy. Then do you think my feet are in worse condition than yours?
+//Cy.// Then do you think my feet are in worse condition than yours?
-Ly. I cannot say.
+//Ly.// I cannot say.
-Cy. Oh, yes. Look at it this way. What's the purpose of feet?
+//Cy.// Oh, yes. Look at it this way. What's the purpose of feet?
-Ly. To walk.
+//Ly.// To walk.
-Cy. And do you think my feet walk worse than yours, or that of the average man's?
+//Cy.// And do you think my feet walk worse than yours, or that of the average man's?
-Ly. Oh, not that, I dare say.
+//Ly.// Oh, not that, I dare say.
-Cy. Then they are not in worse condition, if they walk just as well.
+//Cy.// Then they are not in worse condition, if they walk just as well.
-Ly. That may be so.
+//Ly.// That may be so.
-Cy. So it appears that, as far as feet go, I am in no worse condition than other people.
+//Cy.// So it appears that, as far as feet go, I am in no worse condition than other people.
-Ly. No, I do not think you are.
+//Ly.// No, I do not think you are.
-Cy. Well, the rest of my body, then? If it is in worse condition, it must be weaker, strength being the excellence of the body. Is mine weaker?
+//Cy.// Well, the rest of my body, then? If it is in worse condition, it must be weaker, strength being the excellence of the body. Is mine weaker?
-Ly. Not that I can tell.
+//Ly.// Not that I can tell.
-Cy. Consequently, neither my feet nor the rest of my body need protection, it seems. If they did, they would be in bad shape. For need is always an evil, and deteriorates everything involved. But again, there is no sign, either, of my, body being malnourished for it's being nourished like usual.
+//Cy.// Consequently, neither my feet nor the rest of my body need protection, it seems. If they did, they would be in bad shape. For need is always an evil, and deteriorates everything involved. But again, there is no sign, either, of my, body being malnourished for it's being nourished like usual.
-Ly. None whatever.
+//Ly.// None whatever.
-Cy. It would not be healthy, if it were malnourished. For bad food injures the body.
+//Cy.// It would not be healthy, if it were malnourished. For bad food injures the body.
-Ly. That is true.
+//Ly.// That is true.
-Cy. If so, it is for you to explain why you blame me and depreciate my lifestyle and call it miserable.
+//Cy.// If so, it is for you to explain why you blame me and depreciate my lifestyle and call it miserable.
-Ly. Easily explained. Nature (which you honour) and the Gods have given us the earth, and brought all sorts of good things out of it, providing us with abundance not merely for our necessities, but for our pleasures. But then you abstain from all or nearly all of it, and utilize these good things no more than the beasts. Your drink is water, just like theirs. You eat what you pick up, like a dog, and the dog's bed is as good as yours. Straw is enough for either of you. Then your clothes are no more presentable than a beggar's. Now, if this sort of content lifestyle is to pass for wisdom, God must have been all wrong in making sheep woolly, filling grapes with wine, and providing all our infinite variety of oil, honey, and the rest, that we might have food of every sort, pleasant drink, money, soft beds, fine houses, all the wonderful paraphernalia of civilization, in fact. The productions of art are God's gifts to us too. To live without all these would be miserable enough even if one could not help it, as prisoners cannot, for instance. It is far more so if the withholding of pleasure is forced upon a man by himself - it is then sheer madness.
+//Ly.// Easily explained. Nature (which you honour) and the Gods have given us the earth, and brought all sorts of good things out of it, providing us with abundance not merely for our necessities, but for our pleasures. But then you abstain from all or nearly all of it, and utilize these good things no more than the beasts. Your drink is water, just like theirs. You eat what you pick up, like a dog, and the dog's bed is as good as yours. Straw is enough for either of you. Then your clothes are no more presentable than a beggar's. Now, if this sort of content lifestyle is to pass for wisdom, God must have been all wrong in making sheep woolly, filling grapes with wine, and providing all our infinite variety of oil, honey, and the rest, that we might have food of every sort, pleasant drink, money, soft beds, fine houses, all the wonderful paraphernalia of civilization, in fact. The productions of art are God's gifts to us too. To live without all these would be miserable enough even if one could not help it, as prisoners cannot, for instance. It is far more so if the withholding of pleasure is forced upon a man by himself - it is then sheer madness.
-Cy. You may be right. But take this case. A rich man, indulging comfortable instincts, entertains at a banquet all sorts and conditions of men. Some of them are sick, others sound, and the dishes provided have as much variety as the guests. There is one of these to whom nothing happens out of course. He has his finger in every dish, not only the ones within easy reach, but those some way off that were intended for the sick and disabled. This even though he is in discourteous health, has not more than one stomach, requires little to nourish him, and is likely to be upset by an excess. What is your opinion of this man? Is he a man of sense?
+//Cy.// You may be right. But take this case. A rich man, indulging comfortable instincts, entertains at a banquet all sorts and conditions of men. Some of them are sick, others sound, and the dishes provided have as much variety as the guests. There is one of these to whom nothing happens out of course. He has his finger in every dish, not only the ones within easy reach, but those some way off that were intended for the sick and disabled. This even though he is in discourteous health, has not more than one stomach, requires little to nourish him, and is likely to be upset by an excess. What is your opinion of this man? Is he a man of sense?
-Ly. Why, no.
+//Ly.// Why, no.
-Cy. Is he temperate?
+//Cy.// Is he temperate?
-Ly. No.
+//Ly.// No.
-Cy. Well, then there is another guest at the same table. He seems unconscious of all that variety, fixes on some dish close by that suits his need, eats moderately of it and confines himself to it without a glance at the rest. You will surely find him a more temperate and better man than the other?
+//Cy.// Well, then there is another guest at the same table. He seems unconscious of all that variety, fixes on some dish close by that suits his need, eats moderately of it and confines himself to it without a glance at the rest. You will surely find him a more temperate and better man than the other?
-Ly. Certainly.
+//Ly.// Certainly.
-Cy. Do you see, or must I explain?
+//Cy.// Do you see, or must I explain?
-Ly. What?
+//Ly.// What?
-Cy. That the hospitable entertainer is God, who provides this variety of all kinds that each may have something to suit him. This is for the sound, that for the sick. This for the strong and that for the weak. Everything is not available for all of us. Each person is to take what is within reach, and of that only what he most needs.
+//Cy.// That the hospitable entertainer is God, who provides this variety of all kinds that each may have something to suit him. This is for the sound, that for the sick. This for the strong and that for the weak. Everything is not available for all of us. Each person is to take what is within reach, and of that only what he most needs.
 Now you others are like the greedy unrestrained person who lays hands on everything. Local productions will not do for you, the world must be your repository. Your native land and its seas are quite insufficient. You purchase your pleasures from the ends of the earth, prefer the exotic to the local, the costly to the inexpensive, the rare to the common. In fact you would rather have troubles and complications than avoid them. Most of the precious instruments of happiness that you so pride yourselves upon are won only by vexation and worry. Give a moment's thought, if you will, to the gold you all pray for, to the silver, the costly houses, the elaborate dresses, and do not forget their conditions precedent, the trouble and toil and danger they cost - no, the blood and mortality and ruin. Not only do numbers perish at sea on their account, or endure miseries in the acquisition or working for them. Besides that, they have very likely to be fought for, or the desire of them makes friends plot against friends, children against parents, wives against husbands.
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 It is superfluous to mention the abuse of the sexual instinct, so easily managed if indulgence were not made an object. And if madness and corruption were limited to that! But men nowadays pervert the use of everything they have, turning it to unnatural purposes, like him who insists on making a carriage of a couch.
-Ly. Is there such a person?
+//Ly.// Is there such a person?
-Cy. Why, he is you! You for whom men are beasts of burden, you who make them shoulder your couch-carriages, and recline up there in luxury, driving your men like animals and bidding them turn this way and then that. This is one of the outward and visible signs of your happiness.
+//Cy.// Why, he is you! You for whom men are beasts of burden, you who make them shoulder your couch-carriages, and recline up there in luxury, driving your men like animals and bidding them turn this way and then that. This is one of the outward and visible signs of your happiness.
 Again, when people use edible things not for food but to get dye out of - the murex-dyers, for instance - are they not abusing God's gifts?
-Ly. Certainly not. The flesh of the murex can provide a pigment as well as food.
+//Ly.// Certainly not. The flesh of the murex can provide a pigment as well as food.
-Cy. Ah, but it was not made for that. So you can force a mixing-bowl to do the work of a saucepan. But that is not what it was made for. However, it is impossible to exhaust these people's wrong-headedness. It is endless. And because I will not join them, you reproach me. My life is that of the orderly man I described. I am happy with what comes to hand, use what is cheap, and have no yearning for the elaborate and exotic.
+//Cy.// Ah, but it was not made for that. So you can force a mixing-bowl to do the work of a saucepan. But that is not what it was made for. However, it is impossible to exhaust these people's wrong-headedness. It is endless. And because I will not join them, you reproach me. My life is that of the orderly man I described. I am happy with what comes to hand, use what is cheap, and have no yearning for the elaborate and exotic.
 Moreover, if you think that because I need and use but few things I live the life of a beast, that argument lands you in the conclusion that the Gods are yet lower than the beasts. For they have no needs at all. But to clear your ideas on the comparative merits of great and small needs, you have only to reflect that children have more needs than adults, women than men, the sick than the well, and generally the inferior than the superior. Accordingly, the Gods have no needs, and those men the fewest who are nearest Gods.
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 These external looks that you pour contempt upon, you may learn that they are seemly enough not merely for good men, but for Gods, if you will look at the Gods' statues. Do those resemble you, or me? Do not confine your attention to Greece. Take a tour round the foreign temples too, and see whether the Gods treat their hair and beards like me, or let the painters and sculptors shave them. Most of them, you will find, have no more shirt than I have, either. I hope you will not venture to describe again as mean an appearance that is accepted as godlike.
-{{tag>Lucian Cynics}}