====== Cantharus ====== ===== Lucian, The Runaways =====
//First Master.// Why, what is all this about? His name used to be **Cantharus** when he was with. me. He had long hair, and no beard, and was apprenticed to my trade; I am a fuller, and he was in my shop, dressing cloth. //Phi.// Yes, it is the same; but he has dressed to some purpose this time, and has become a philosopher. //First Master.// **Cantharus** a philosopher! I like that. And where do I come in? //Second and Third Masters.// Oh well, we shall get them all now. This lady knows all about them, it seems. //Phi.// Heracles, who is this comely person with a lyre? //Hera.// It is Orpheus. I was on the Argo with him. He was the best of boatswains; it was quite a pleasure to row to his singing. Welcome, my musical friend: you have not forgotten Heracles, I hope? //Or.// And welcome to all of you, Philosophy, Heracles, Hermes. I should like my reward, please: I can lay my finger on your man. //Her.// Then show us the way. It is useless, of course, to offer gold to the gifted son of Calliope? //Or.// Oh, quite.--I will show you the house, but not the man. His tongue might avenge him; scurrility is his strong point. //Her.// Lead on. //Or.// It is this house close by. And now I shall leave you; l have no wish to set eyes on him. //Her.// Hush! Was that a woman's voice, reciting Homer? //Phi.// It was. Let us listen. //Innkeeper's Wife.// More than the gates of Hell I hate that man Who, loving gold, cloaketh his love with lies. //Her.// At that rate, madam, you will have to quarrel with **Cantharus**: He with his kindly host hath dealt amiss. //Innkeeper.// That ’s me. I took him in, and he ran away with my wife. //Innk. Wife.// Wine-witted knave, deer-hearted and dog-eyed, Thersites, babbler loose, that nought availest In council, nought in arms; most valiant daw, That with thine aimless chatter chidest kings,-- //First Master.// My rascal to a T. //Innk. Wife.// The dog in thee--for thou art dog and goat And lion--doth a blasting fury breathe. //Innkeeper.// Wife, wife! the dogs have been too many for you; ay, and for your virtue, so men say. //Her.// Hope for the best; some little Cerberus or Geryon shall call you father, and Heracles have employment again.--Ah, no need to knock: here they come. //First Master.// Ha, **Cantharus**, have I got you? What, nothing to say for yourself? Let us see what you have in that wallet; beans, no doubt, or a crust of bread. //Her.// Bread, indeed! Gold, a purseful of it! //Hera.// That need not surprise you. In Greece, you see, he was a Cynic, but here he is all for golden Chrysippus. Next you will see him dangling, Cleanthes-like 1, by his beard, and serve the dirty fellow right. //Second Master.// Ha, you rascal there, am I mistaken, or are you my lost Lecythio? Lecythio it is. What a figure! Lecythio a philosopher! I'll believe anything after this. //Her.// Does none of you know anything about this other? Third Master. Oh yes, he is mine; but he may go hang for me. //Her.// And why is that? //Third Master.// Ah, he 's a sadly leaky vessel, is Rosolio, as we used to call him. //Her.// Gracious Heracles! did you hear that? Rosolio with wallet and stick!--Friend, here is your wife again. //Innkeeper.// Thank you for nothing. I'll have no woman brought to bed of an old book in my house. //Her.// How am I to understand that? //Innkeeper.// Why, the Three-headed Dog is a book, master? Her. Ay, and so was the Man with the Three Hats, for that matter. //Masters//. We leave the rest to you, sir. //Her.// This is my judgement. Let the woman return beneath her husband's roof, or many-headed monsters will come of it. These two truant sparks I hand over to their owners: let them follow their trades as heretofore; Lecythio wash clothes, and Rosolio patch them;--not, however, before his back has felt the mallow-stalk. And for **Cantharus**, first let the men of pitch take him, and plaster him without mercy; and be their pitch the vilest procurable. Then let him be led forth to stand upon the snowy slopes of Haemus, naked and fettered. //Can.// Mercy! have mercy on me! Ah me! I am undone! //First Master.// So tragic? Come, follow me to the plasterers; and off with that lion's-skin, lest you be taken for other than an ass. \\ [[http://lucianofsamosata.info/TheRunaways.html|Source]]